exercise

Maybe I can

/ Cassie / 1 Comment

“If it is important to you, you will find a way.  If not, you will find an excuse.”

I haven’t written in a while because things around here have been crazy busy.  With snow days, Max’s new round of IEP meetings, my last formal observation of the year, and professional development classes I feel like I can barely get my head above water.  With all that said, things haven’t been all bad and stressful.  I’ve still been running, trying (my hardest) to eat healthy, and curb those tendencies I have to completely freak out and run away from the world.

Two weeks ago a couple of amazing things happened, both big and small.  Beginning with the big: I completely ran my first 5k!  My last race was in November, so I guess you could consider this a “come back” race.  My time was amazingly slow, but that didn’t matter.  I didn’t come in last, and I ran the whole thing.  And no matter how much my legs hurt (in the quest for beer and a bathroom I forgot to stretch), I woke up Tuesday morning and finished three miles.  It’s nice knowing that this is becoming a “thing” for me now, a habit that I am not willing to break, something I need to do.  My times are still slow and they may never get better, but I don’t care.  That’s not what this is about anymore.

Last week-end I took the little for a bike ride and jogged behind them.  We went for about a mile before we came to the park.  It was then that I realized I had jogged for a mile behind my kids and was not out of breath at all.  True, we we’re going that fast, but the idea that running a mile was not something that could brake me anymore was truly amazing.  A year ago just walking to the park would have left me tired and winded, and now I feel like I have so much more energy, which is a great thing considering I have two small boys.

For the past two weeks I have stuck with my running plan and am up to 5 miles on my  “long runs”.  I have to stop some times, but who cares?  I’m doing something I never thought I could do.  And, triumph of triumphs? I’ve officially run 100 miles since the beginning of 2014.  100 miles in 3 months.  It took me five months to walk/run this amount previously.

It’s amazing what we can accomplish when we don’t give up on ourselves…even when other’s may have given up on us.

There’s no such thing has a bad run.

/ Cassie / 1 Comment

“Anybody can be a runner. We were meant to move. We were meant to run. It’s the easiest sport.” ~Bill Rodgers

Today was supposed to be my easy run day.  In my training schedule Sundays are the days when I only run 2 miles, no matter what.  I can go any speed I want as long as I complete the run.  The best and worst part of having a schedule is always knowing when and how long you are supposed to run.  Knowing I only had to do 2 miles today made me overestimate myself.  I had just done 3 miles on Friday and most of it was uphill so 2 miles was going to be a piece of cake.  I didn’t have anything to worry about

Long story short, it was the worst 2 miles I have run yet.  What could go wrong, did go wrong.  First my shoes felt too loose, then they felt too tight.  The sidewalks are covered with ice so I had to run on the road which wouldn’t have been so bad but there is also a ton of ice on road and I have to stop and wait every time a car drives by.  My legs felt tired and heavy even from the very beginning (it usually takes a while).

And then the worst possible thing happened.  After running for only about 5 minutes, my Map My Run app announces that I’ve run a mile.  Um…no.  I haven’t.  I know this 2 mile loop.  I run it every week.  I am no where near a mile.  These are all the things I am yelling at my phone…outloud.  For me, the first mile is always the hardest.  Usually, once I hear my phone tell me I’ve hit a mile, it’s all smooth sailing.  So, now, knowing this app is completely wrong and messed up, I am so pissed off that I basically give up especially because this is not the first time it has happened.

Around what my Map My Run App said was mile 2, I began to get back into the swing of things and get my bearings.  For a while on my run I blamed my bad mood on the app, but really, it was me.  I knew I was going to have to run today and just assumed that because I had been able to complete every run up until now that this one would be easy.

But last night I got a lot of sleep (as in 5 hours more than normal), making me more tired than usual.  I haven’t done my hip strengthening exercises in a week.  I did an hour of cardio and bike riding the day before.  I was clearly dehydrated since I drank almost no water the day before.  I had too many hard ciders (celebrating a night with no kids for the first time in a month).  I ate a crappy dinner (don’t ask) and then ate salty tortilla chips for a snack (ugh).  All this stuff  combined together, including my terrible attitude, really affected my run.  I never really thought about things like drinking enough water or eating the right meal the night before could have such a negative effect, simply because when I first started out I couldn’t do it anyway.  One crappy meal or one glass of water was not going to propel me past feeling like death after running for 5 minutes.

While my run was terrible (lets not even talk about times, considering I’m already as slow as a turtle), it was definitely enlightening.  I’m learning now the more I push myself in the running department, the more I need to take care of myself in other areas.  I can’t slack off in one area and hope that it doesn’t effect the others.  And now that I’m actually doing THIS I need to do it the right way.

So, the rest of today is all about drinking water, stretching, making friends with my foam roller, and planning my meals for the week.

Oh yeah, and finally buying a Garmin because I am so over the Map My Run lady telling me I ran a mile in 5 minutes.  That would have been nice…but no.

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The Long Way Home

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“You live but once, you might as well be amusing.” ~Coco Chanel

Do you ever get that feeling that you know you want to write but you have no idea what you are going to say?  That’s how I feel at this moment.  I feel like I’ve been writing this post in my head all week, but when I sit to write, nothing is actually coming out.

My workout schedule is going well and I have managed to follow it for two weeks.  Now that I’m running more and going to the gym less I know I need to work more on my stretching and strength training.  I neglected it this week, and after my run today I can definitely feel it.

I started talking up the fact that I signed up for the Baltimore Half Marathon to some friends at work and a lot of people seem really interested.  A few have even signed up already.  It really shows me how much I have grown during my running and since the summer.

6 months ago, if someone had said something about going running with me or running a race with me I would have laughed and tried to figure out some way to get out of it.  I would have been too embarrassed about my size, my ability, and my speed to even contemplate running near someone I know.  Even today when I decided to run this afternoon instead of tomorrow (too busy, more snow) I ran in broad daylight in my tight running pants singing along (rather softly) to my music.  I was super slow with all the snow and ice, I wore an old ratty t-shirt, and sweat was dripping down my face and I just didn’t care.

And the fact is, why should I?  I’m doing this for me, not for anyone else.  Sure, the more the merrier.  I love when I hear that I have motivated someone to run or workout, and I am still desperately searching for a (non-speedy) running buddy, but that’s not why I am doing what I do.  I have no problem being friend or a motivator or a cheerleader for anyone who needs it.  I don’t know what I would have done without mine.  But the days are gone where I always need someone to hold my hand and go with me as I jumped into the unknown abyss.  I no longer feel the need for the outside reassurance that I so constantly craved.

I stepped on the scale today for the first time since I hit my 50 pound mark.  And guess what.  I’m still at the 50 pound mark.  This would have bothered me before, but not now.  I know my clothes are getting looser, even the next size down for some of my items is too big.  The number on the scale doesn’t define me like it once did.  While it took me a long time to figure it out, that’s not what this running journey is about anyway.

Every day I remember why I started running in the first place.  August, and the summer in general, had been tough and one day I had had enough.  I was depressed, and moody, and couldn’t find joy in even the smallest things.  I didn’t want to feel like that anymore.  So I went for a run.  Or really, not even a run, as I couldn’t even run a quarter of a mile without stopping for a break.  And while I didn’t get serious about it until January, it quite literally saved my life, and continues to do so every time I venture out.  The first mile is always the hardest, but once I hit it, I feel like there is no stopping me.

I know I’m still super slow.  I know I don’t look like all the other runners out there.  And frankly, I just don’t care.  Months ago I would have.  Months ago I wouldn’t have even thought to run when other runners, “real runners” might be out there.  I didn’t want to embarrass myself.  But with the smiles and waves I got today as I trudged along through the snow and slush, I know no one is judging me except for me.

And right now, I’m feeling pretty fabulous.

100 Mile Challenge Miles Completed: 24

Weeks to the Baltimore Half Marathon: 35

Current Weekly Miles: 9

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In vino veritas…unless you’re giving it up

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“The purpose of life is to live it, to taste experience to the utmost, to reach out eagerly and without fear for newer and richer experience.” ~ Eleanor Roosevelt

If you read my last post, you know I did something completely insane.  I signed up for a half marathon.  And I don’t just mean “signed up”.  I mean paid a rather large entrance fee to run with other people who are “real runners” and huff and puff for 13.1 miles…after which  I will promptly die.  I know I am NOWHERE close to being ready for it yet, but the half marathon isn’t until October, so I know I have time to get there.

After making the commitment, I decided that I should actually get serious about it.  Since I’ve only been running off and on for a few months, a couple times a week at most I still don’t know exactly what I’m doing.  I don’t know a lot about “training” or pacing or any of that other runner lingo, so I did what anyone else in my position would do…took to the computer.  So, after much internet (Pinterest) research I created a plan that includes running and cross training and takes me to June.  This is the first week in my training plan and I’m proud to say as long as I complete my short run tomorrow, I will have followed it every day.  It’s crazy to see that my first week I’m only running 8 miles, but by June, I’m up to about 25 per week.

With getting serious about the training plan, I feel like I also need to get serious about other things, such as food, getting enough sleep, and de-stressing.  And because of that, I think it’s time to say good-bye to the wine.  Now, you wouldn’t know if from my facebook account, but I actually don’t drink that much.  But, it’s probably more than I should, I know it’s taking the place of the water I should be drinking on certain nights.  Now, I’m not saying I’m completely giving it up.  There is nothing stopping me from having a glass out with friends after work, or toasting at a wedding, but I think it’s just time to take a break from it, especially at home, and see where this leads me.

Honestly, if I’m going to do this running thing, I want to really do it and I want to do it right.  I love it and it has changed me in more ways than most people know.

I can already see so many changes since picking running back up last month.  I can go for miles (yes plural) without having to stop.  I’m not as out of breath.  I’m not as sore afterwards.  2 miles no longer seems like an eternity (though that first mile is always the hardest), in fact, to me it feels super short.  Even tonight when I attempted to take the kids out with me on a 2 mile run, they got tired before I did.  I used to simply get tired watching them play.  And that was really the most amazing thing.

I’ve also seen changes in my mood.  I’m happier, less stressed, and have a more positive outlook.  Sure, I still vent and get upset, but not to the degree I used to.

So, a toast to how much I’ve put behind me and all the things I have to look forward to in the future.  A toast to say goodbye to a stress reliever I don’t need as much any more.

A final toast with a fancy bottle for a most important occasion.

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What Goes Up…

/ Cassie / 2 Comments

“We may encounter defeats, but we must not be defeated.” ~Maya Angelou

I guess I should start with the good.

I finally hit my 100 Mile Challenge miles.  On Martin Luther King Day.  I can’t believe I finally did it.  So what do I do to celebrate?  Made another challenge.  Now instead of running and walking 100 miles, I plan on running 100 miles by the end of April.  If I stick with the new training plan I’ve come up with, and it stops freaking snowing, it shouldn’t be a problem.

Also, I finally it my 5o pound mark.  I have officially lost 50 pounds as of January 25 (the eve of my 33rd birthday).  I can’t believe it.  It has done nothing but motivate me to lose another 50.

Plus, I ordered new running clothes from Old Navy in my normal sizes.  Which I now have to return because they are too damn big.

And yet…

I have to admit, it doesn’t take a lot to make me feel defeated.  More likely than not, it’s because I’m not used to failing.  I usually don’t try things that I know I might fail and because I have such a deep seated fear of failure, I usually accomplish everything I set out to, no matter the cost.  But on Wednesday, I went out for my run.  It was supposed to be 2 miles, but after a mile I decided to call it quits.  It was cold (as in literally 3 degrees), I was tired, I did over 3 miles on the elliptical at the gym the night before, and really, the list could go on and on.  I probably could have kept going for that two miles, but I didn’t want to, so I didn’t. And for the rest of the evening, I was in a funk, mad at myself that I didn’t finish what I was supposed to.

And you know what?  I haven’t been running since the night I quit early.  This is what I always do.  I do what I want to do, and don’t do things I don’t want to do.  Plain and simple.  It’s pretty selfish, if you think about it.  I have trouble pushing myself past the comfortable.  I have trouble pushing myself, period.  I don’t like pain, I don’t like to feel uncomfortable so I do everything in my power to avoid it, whether that be in my workouts, at my job, or in my personal life.  And because I don’t like to be uncomfortable and because I don’t like to fail, I don’t take risks. And I need to start.

So what does a girl who needs motivation and needs to take a big risk in order to push herself do?  She signs up for a half-marathon.

Oh yes, you read that right.  I signed up for the Baltimore Half-Marathon.  13.1 miles.  At one time. In front of other people.  With real runners who don’t “trot”.  I can’t guarantee that I’ll be able to run the whole thing.  I can’t even guarantee that I’ll finish.

And I’m sure people will laugh when I tell them. But I like a good challenge.  And I’ve come this far.

Plus, you should see how motivated I am when people say I can’t do something…

So here’s a toast to new life choices, to challenges, to proving others wrong, and to simply proving to myself that I can do this.

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Why walk when you can fly

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“Because that’s the thing, the day before your life changes forever, it’s just like any other day.”

Finally, finally, finally.

Saturdays are a dreaded day.  The day I get on the scale.  I was worried about it, to be honest.  I was sick this week and didn’t really give it all my all.  So, I screwed my eyes up tight, got on a peaked at the number.  And it was lower.  Not by a lot, but by 1.4 pounds.  Which puts me at the lowest weight I’ve been since before Max was born.  Which puts me at 2.4 measly pounds until I hit 50 pounds lost.

And it’s those 1.4 pounds that make me realize that I can do this.  Since May my weight has been pretty consistent, gaining 1 or 2, losing 1 or 2, but never really going anywhere.  Not that I could blame it.  I wasn’t really doing anything to help it along.  I’d work out here and there, eat healthy here and there, run here and there, but never enough to amount to anything, and never enough for it to stick.

After a rocky 6 months, I’m finally ready to get back on track…and I am getting back on track. I feel like within the past three weeks, something has really clicked.  I’ve been able to stay on the healthy eating train.  I’ve stopped drinking except for one week-end day or special occasions, and really, haven’t had the desire as much as before.  I’ve been able stick to my workout plan for the most part and I’ve also been able to not get (too) upset the few times I have had to deviate from the plan for reasons beyond my control.

Overall the running is going well.  I’m still slow, but it doesn’t bother me as much anymore.  The speed will come.  One of my January goals was to be up to running 3 miles by the end of January.  Last Sunday I actually ran 4 (I still can’t believe it) so I’ve definitely met that goal!  I had never run more than 2.5 before that and to say that I felt accomplished was a major understatement.  I’m actually going to start incorporating some speed work on Saturdays with a friend (Hi Sara!).  We found the most AMAZING running trail today and can’t wait to try it out again next week.

My other January goals are going well too.  I’m halfway through two new books, have been soda free for 19 days, and have done quite a few things that I would normally have been scared to do.  I’m excited to set some February goals soon.  I’m hoping to get back on my one race a month kick, and maybe even rev it up to something past a 5K eventually.

The best part of all this?  For the first time in a long time, I’m not waiting for the other shoe to drop.  Usually, when things are going well, I tend to get scared and worried, believing that it’s only a matter of time before things start to turn sour again.  I’m gaining confidence, learning to tune out the small stuff, and battling (and moving on from) past demons that were keeping me stagnant.

And let me tell you…it’s an absolutely amazing, wonderful feeling.  I just can’t get enough.

I feel like I’m ready to battle whatever comes my way, whether it be big, or small, or nothing at all.

Upcoming Races/Runs

  • March: Shamrock 5K
  • April: Baltimore Color Run with Max (on his 5th birthday!!!)
  • May: Color Run in Queens with the Maryland and Childhood BFFs!
  • June: Charles Village 5K? Baltimore Women’s Classic 5K?
  • July: Electric Run
  • August: Trail Run at Boordy Vinyards?
  • September: Color Me Rad

And of course…the 100 mile challenge

Miles accomplished in the 100 Mile Challenge: 97.95

Miles to go in the 100 Mile Challenge: 2.05

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Just Keep Swimming

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“You simply have to put one foot in front of the other and keep going. Put blinders on and plow right ahead.” ~George Lucas

It’s been quite a few days since I’ve written anything.  It isn’t because I haven’t had anything to say, or that I’ve been uninspired.  It’s simply that I’ve been tired.  I’m really getting back into the swing of things with going to the gym and running four times a week, and by the time I get home at the end of the day all I want to do is eat and sleep…and that’t exactly what I’ve been doing.

I hopped on the scale this morning and I’m down another pound.  Usually, I would be upset about only losing a pound after all my hard work, but now, I’m OK with it.  A loss is a loss and it’s better than staying the same or going up.  Plus, with the amount I have been running and working out, I’m sure I gained muscle somewhere in there.  And the real kicker?  In 3.8 more pounds I will hit 50 pounds lost since last January (60 since June 2012).  All the tiredness and soreness and grumpiness when I couldn’t eat junk food was definitely worth it (even if it didn’t feel like it at the time).

I can’t believe that I am up to 2.25 miles when I run.  And I’m not letting anything get in my way.  Less than a year ago I never would have run in the rain, in the snow, when temperatures were below zero, or even when I was just too tired to go.  And in the past two weeks I have done all of these things. It’s crazy to think that not so long ago I could barely run a minute.  I was starting to get a little down about the fact that I am still so slow.  I swore I was a lot faster before I took the month of December off.  But when I looked back on my Map My Run workouts, I really wasn’t.  I’m actually at about the same pace, but going for longer distances so I’m excited about that.

My goal is to get up to 3 miles consistently before the end of January and I’m pretty sure I will be able to do it.  What I’ve learned is that the first mile is the hardest, the second mile gets a little better, and after that it’s surprisingly more easy.  Yes, I just used the words “mile” and “easy” in the same sentence.

I haven’t been having any out of the ordinary pain lately, which really makes me happy.  I’ve been doing a ton of cross training, stretching like crazy, and recently began riding the expresso bikes at the gym in order to help strengthen my quads/upper legs.  I was even able to get back to Cardio Dance!

I had been thinking about trying to find a race to run in February before the Shamrock Run in March.  The only ones I could find in my area were more than a 5K (not ready for that…yet) and the Valentine’s Day Undie Run (HELL NO!) so it looks like my first race back will be in March.

And while my original goal was to complete the 100 mile challenge by Christmas, taking the month of December off did not help and I did not finish on time.   Fortunately, I’m not the type to give up, so I’m going to finish it by the end of this month.  I can’t believe I only have 12.7 miles to go!

Miles accomplished in the 100 Mile Challenge: 87.35

Miles to go in the 100 Mile Challenge: 12.65

Self-Congratulations

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“Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world.” ~Lucille Ball

I was feeling kind of low this morning.  I went for a run and it was remarkably slow.  I really felt defeated that I wasn’t back at the mile time I was before my knee injury.  With the feeling of defeat came the feeling of self doubt.  Why am I even doing this?  I’m never going to be a “runner” so I should just stop now.  This is the fastest it’s going to get so I should probably get used to it.

Then, after much agonizing and self doubt I decided to change my perspective.  No, I’m not as fast as I used to be, but I’ve only gone for four short runs (in new shoes) since I began running again.  No, I’m not as fast as I used to be, but we just got 3-4 inches of ice and snow and it’s been close to 0 degrees and I still went out twice (and didn’t kill myself on the ice).  No, I’m not as fast as I used to be, but I’ve also been cross training like crazy (strength training, body weight exercises, additional cardio, yoga) so my body needs to catch up to what I’m doing to it.  No, I’m not as fast as I used to be, but who the hell cares.  I’m still out there.  I’m running.  And I feel wonderful.

And, really, I’ve accomplished quite a lot, even just since Christmas.  I’ve stuck with my running and gym workout plan.  I’ve completed every day of the plank, push-up, and squat challenges that I decided to work on this month, I’ve lost almost 5 pounds, and I’ve been eating quite a bit healthier and tracking it all on My Fitness Pal.  Plus, today, I put on my new pair of compression running pants I got on clearance at Dicks.  And they are an XL.  And they fit.  Yup, only one X in that size.  This time last year, there were three.

The best part is, I have no doubt that I will be able to keep this up.  Last year, had you told me I would love running and would be signing up for race after race, I would have told you you were crazy.  But now…

It’s amazing how things change and how even the bad things in our life can lead us to something good.

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Challenges: The Obligatory Resolutions Post

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“It’s lack of faith that makes people afraid of meeting challenges, and I believe in myself.” ~Muhammad Ali

So, I guess this could be considered my obligatory New Years Resolution post.  I could bore you with my endless downpour of yearly recycled resolutions (drink less, eat more vegetables, be a nicer wife, be a better mother, etc.) but I won’t.  These are the same hundred or so plans that I make every year and every year I feel like a failure when I still occasionally suck at being a mom, when I still occasionally yell at my husband for no apparent reason, when I still occasionally have one too many glasses of wine, and when I still occasionally choose party mix over carrots.

And somehow, when I keep making the same resolutions year after year, I wonder why nothing changes; why I’m still depressed more than I’m happy, why I’m still not at the weight or fitness level that I want to be, why my home life is not as wonderful as it could be.  Part of this, of course, is that I never put forth enough effort.  For about two weeks I do everything in my power to change what I think needs to be changed, and then when things do change, I stop putting forth any effort and slack off…and things tend to go back to sucking. Shocking, I know.

Which is why, this year, I’m making monthly resolutions as opposed to yearly ones.  I’m hoping that this way I can keep things fresh, change things up when I need to, evaluate what’s working and what’s not, tweak and add and subtract when needed.  Also, I’ll be able to see a light at the end of the tunnel.  I tend to loose focus or get discouraged or simply become complacent when I have too long to complete something.  And, of course, there is the procrastination aspect as well.  Why do today what you can do tomorrow instead?

A resolution, simply put, is the firm idea to do or not do something.  I guess, these ideas that I have for the month of January aren’t really resolutions so much as they are challenges and goals…things I am hoping to accomplish, though in the strict sense of the word I am resolute about accomplishing them.

So, long story short, each month I’ll come up with some sort of theme that encompasses the things I want to accomplish and at the end of the month evaluate how I did and make up new goals (or keep the same goals) for the next month.

January’s theme is simple: Take yourself seriously.  You are important. So many times I decide I can’t do things simply based on what other people would say if they found out I was doing them.  If I want to be a runner, I will.  If I want to learn a new language, I’ll do it.  If I want to dye my hair green, so be it.  Sometimes it’s ok to be selfish about things you want, especially if it will make you a better person in the long run.  And for those people who will judge, or be jealous, or try to bring you down, screw them.  I’ve got too much other crap going on. I don’t need any added negativity.

January’s Goals and Challenges

Body
1. Run 3-4 days a week

2. Be able to run 3 miles by the end of January

3. Complete the planking, squats, and pushup challenge (on pinterest)

4. Give up diet coke

Mind:
1. Take the opportunity to write at least twice a week

2. Read 2 new books

3. Learn a different knitting stitch than the only one that know

Soul:
1. NO cellphone, ipad, computer after 9:30 pm unless an emergency (or reading a book on the ipad, as I wind up downloading most of them).  No more mindless surfing and time wasting.

2. Do something scary each week: call someone on the phone, wear my running pants without feeling the need to hike shorts over them simply because I’m self conscious, etc.

3. Make an effort to be more world-conscious: shop more at local businesses, stop being so wasteful, etc.

4. Stop being so damn angry all the time: at my students, at my own kids, at my husband, at friends who have let me down.  I need to stop carrying this baggage every where I go.  It’s not solving any problems.

Honestly, these don’t seem so unreasonable (except maybe the diet coke :).

I know I can do it and I know there are people out there who will support me in this endeavor, and really, support me anything I decide to do.  And those are the people I really need to keep around.

Baby, we were born to run

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“Run when you can, walk if you have to, crawl if you must; just never give up.” ~Dean Karnazes

I went for my first run in almost a month yesterday (27 days to be exact).  I was worried that the slow time I was bound to have was going to cause me to become depressed and give up, but in fact, quite the opposite was true.  Yes, I was slow.  My mile time was no where near where I was when I became injured, but it was also no where near where it was when I started running a few months ago. I was happy to see that I wasn’t starting over completely and that I was going to be able to do this after all.  

It was almost humbling to see that I could still run a mile without stopping.  I remember when I first started the couch to 5K program the first interval is run for 1 minute then walk for 1.5 minutes.  Even during that first week, just running for 1 minute was hard.  I wanted to give up, I wanted to cry, I wanted to die from humiliation.  I hated running.  I hated that, for once, I wasn’t going to be able to accomplish something that I wanted to.  Back then, I feel like I really wanted to “run” for the eliteness of it.  To say I was a runner was not only “cool” but it was also going to prove that I was in shape and could do something that so many other people really couldn’t (running is HARD!).  But, now, that’s not the case.  

The best part of my very short, very slow run was the feeling, oh the glorious feeling I had.  I usually feel great (as in happy) when I finish my run, but miserable during. Yesterday, though, I felt wonderful the whole time.  It was hard, don’t get me wrong, and my feet hurt, and my knee hurt, and even my lungs hurt, but I was just so happy to be out and running again that I didn’t care about any of these pains.  It made me realize just how important running had become to me in such a short period of time.  It helps me think, reduces stress, dissipates any anger or aggression I may have accrued during the day.  Honestly, the health and weight loss benefits are simply an added bonus.  I’m not doing this for them.  That’s what the gym is for.  I’m doing this for me.

And now that I’ve realized just how important this is to me, I also realize that I need to do it right this time.  Last time, not only did I do too much too fast, but I also had no consistency with my runs.  I went when I felt like it and made excuses when I didn’t.  I didn’t do any stretching to help out my muscles or range of motion (beyond what I thought I was supposed to do…turns out I was wrong). And, and did nothing to prevent injuries that I might encounter.  As it turns out, my knee “injury” that I babied the last month was simply due to too much strain on my knee because my hip and quad muscles were not strong enough to accommodate my body when running

But, now I’m ready to do this thing, for real.  I mapped out my workouts for the month, used my dicks gift card to buy running socks, hand weights, and a foam roller, and moved the boys into the same room (it’s a really big room, and they love it) in order to create an office/workout space for myself.  

Most importantly I finally bit the bullet and went to Charm City Run (a local running store) to figure out what shoes I REALLY need to deal with all of my foot, leg, knee problems.  I was so concerned with not wanting people to look at my gross feet and watch me run on a treadmill.  Had I not been willing to run I would have wound up with a shoe that felt fine walking, but was terrible when I started running.  I actually settled on a pair of shoes from a brand I thought I would hate because of a previous shoe I tried from them.  It was really exciting to find “the shoe” that was going to work for me.

Running is something I hope I get to stick with for a long time.  It has done so much for me in just a few short months, I can’t believe I was ready to give it up so easily.

So, for now, I’ll take it slow, but I’m ready to run.