hope

Where has my motivation gone?

/ Cassie / 3 Comments

“People often said motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing, that’s why we recommend it daily.” Zig Zigler

I don’t even have the motivation to write today. I’m trying to do it anyway.

I don’t even have the motivation to exercise today. I’m trying to do it anyway.

I don’t even have the motivation to eat healthy today. I’m trying to do it anyway.

I don’t even have the motivation to __________________. Who am I kidding, I’m not even trying.

I don’t know what’s going on with me. I’m in a funk. I’m in a slump. I don’t even know what I’m doing at this point. I keep trying different things to get me going but they’re not working. I’m eating crap and then I feel like crap. I’m too tired or sore to exercise and then I feel like crap because I didn’t. It’s a vicious cycle that I can’t seem to get out of.

I need a pick-me-up. I need a jump start. I need someone to shake me and slap me across the face. I need to reach deep down and remember why I’m doing this…all of this.

Help.

Big, huge, colossal

/ Cassie / Leave a comment

” Big mistake. Big. Huge. I have to go shopping now.” ~Vivian “Pretty Woman”

Do you know anything about despair? It’s the place where hopes don’t exist. I liken it to walking around a city and the sewer drains are uncapped. If you’re looking, really watching and paying attention, you can avoid them all together. But if not, you fall right in and Lord only knows when you are going to be able to pull yourself out.

Once you are down there, in the pit of despair, two types of people emerge. Person A pulls themselves together climbs up the ladder and emerges, maybe a little dirtier than before, but still intact and ready to face the world.

Person B, on the other hand does quite the opposite. Instead of looking for the ladder they give up, simply lie down, and take a very long nap.

Lately, I’ve felt more like Person B. I’ve been trying to get myself together, but I keep falling apart. It’s been a rough week. I’m not going to go all “Candide” on you, but on a scale of one to ten, it was an 11. I feel like maybe I want to find that ladder, the item that will get me out of despair, but I’m just so tired and don’t have any motivation.

That is, until tonight. That all stops here. Big things are coming. Huge. I’m not sure what they are yet, but they are on the tip of my tongue.

No idea when it’s coming, but you’ll know it when you see it.