New Year’s Eve is my favorite holiday. There’s nothing quite like waking up the to not only a new day, but a new year, and now even, a new decade. It’s a blank slate, a universal forgiveness, a self declaration of love. And it’s something I look forward to every single year.

A few days ago I wrote a post about some small changes I am going to make in January to better myself. Some are physical, some are mental, some are emotional. I figured I would come back here and eventually write down my resolutions for the year, but I haven’t been able to really get into that mentality. Something seems stuck and it took me a while to figure it out.

I’ve decided to change things up this year. Instead of writing out a list of New Year’s resolutions most of which I will inevitably break, I decided that I’m going to write a list of everything I am going to leave in 2019 and not bring into 2020 with me. And then I’m going to throw that list into the fireplace and watch it burn, leaving behind only ashes and dust. Cleansing me with flames and heat; a reverse baptism, if you will.

There is so much I dwell on. So much I regret. So much I take with me from dad to day that I need to let go. These things are heavy. They are weighing me down. And they take up the spaces that joy and love should be residing.

In the words of Elsa, it’s time to let things go. It’s time to move on. It’s time to really begin to embrace not only who I am, but also who I can become. It’s time for rebirth, renewal, and a little bit of fire.