To my dearest, lovely 5th graders on your graduation day,

I never thought there would be a chance that I wouldn’t be there to see you graduate, yet here we are.

Sometime a class burrows their way into your heart so much that you can’t remember what it felt like without them. For me that class was you.

From teaching you science in kindergarten and first grades to math in 3rd and 5th grades (and all the visits in between) I am so proud of all you have accomplished in the time I have known you.

Chess in the mornings. Chisme at the small group table. Banning TikTok words. Rapid games of “Around the World”. Drop Everything (out lol) And Read. And so many other experiences that have absolutely become core memories for me.

I wish you all the best of luck. There is no doubt in my mind that you will all succeed in whatever you put your mind to.

And even if there’s nothing else you may know, please know I was always so proud to be your teacher.

I was named after a character in a book by my father. I couldn’t tell you the name of the book, but the character was Cassie, not Cassandra, which is why I am Cassie, not Cassandra.

I used to conspire when I was little that I was going to change my name to Cassandra the minute I turned 18. Because no one. No one. Has a nickname as a name. I would still be Cassie, but when people asked me what my “real name” was, I could say Cassandra with a flourish.

Flash forward to today where 2 of my children were named after book characters and all three were given names that could be shortened to a nick name. Because in my mind everyone should be able to live two lives: the resume name and the nick name. And I wish I would have been given the chance.

I never wanted to change my last name. I knew going into my marriage (both my first and second) that I was going to remain a Stegman. It’s how I was born and it’s how I would die. And I also never changed my first name. It wouldn’t be so hard, you know. I used to think it’s just because I was too lazy to take all the steps. But maybe it was more than that. Maybe I just wanted to stay who I was born: Cassie Stegman. The girl with the nickname. The girl named after a book character. The girl who was both the oldest and the middle child. The girl who was both the only girl and the second daughter. The one who was strong but also weak. My father’s daughter.

It’s been almost 13 years since you left. And I still don’t know who I am or what I’m supposed to do with this one life I was given. But maybe this is the year I figure it out. At least I know I’m still Cassie Stegman, the girl you named.